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Offline hellokitty888

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  • Today, I was surprised by my wife, she went to see a lawyer to file a divorce and blocked me from all social media from contacting her. She must be angry I looked at her phone and know her secret remittance of S$8510 to her soulmate. And her secret booking arrangement for travel and hotel stay in Nepal for Mr and Mrs XXX, not my sir name. I am already so accommodating to her flirt behaviour, hoping that we could wait 3 years to have a happy family relation.

    I am very depressed now. I have lost everything I fight for. What should I do? I am thinking of jumping to my death the next morning.

    Just be STRONG @lau0001 ,

    There is a song, an Indonesian song, with lyrics like this:

    women were colonized by men long ago
    used as honey cage jewelry
    but there are times when men are helpless
    Bend their knees in the corner of a woman's curl

    So be strong, be a man.

    She doesn't deserve you, you deserve to get a better person. A man can have a good family, even though he is late, so open a new page. accept destiny and step up to improve what is, for the better, your life is still long as long as you go through this period, only a few years later. Much can you do, look at your child who needs protection and guidance. You can get happiness with somebody else, getting more wealth again. Let her be a bad person, but not you. Still be a good man. Take care your son.

    Suicide is not an option, certainly getting bad karma. I don't know what will happen, but I want to read from your post again in the future that will say that you are in okay condition, improve your emotional and forget her, just away from her.
    Let me say that somehow in the future she will back to you, and you will be the winner. So be strong, I know you can do it.

    God Bless You!

    Offline lau0001

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  • After 3 weeks of crying, and lost hope, I now manage to get myself up to face reality, and post to thank all concern forum contributors for your support.

    Thank @Han for your detail analysis and defense strategy to secure and protect fund for my son future.

    My wife did a complete search of all my assets and money and demands every cent to be divided equally. She do not want any child to be attached to her as she wants a carefree lifestyle after divorced.
    I did proposed to my wife to set aside 20% each of our assets to secure fund for my son education and living expenses. She said it is the father responsibilities to look after his son, she do not want to be involve with me in anyway even if it involve my son.

    My wife leave for 1 month holiday cum meditation course in Kathmandu, Nepal in Dec 31.

    My wife and I still communicate daily through WhatsApp during her holiday and mediation course in Nepal. The mediation course taught her some Buddhism practice and principle. One of them Pancha Sila:
    I observe, refraining from killing any living beings.
    I observe, refraining from taking what does the owner not give.
    I observe, refraining from committing sexual misconduct.
    I observe, refraining from telling lies.
    I observe, refraining from taking any intoxicant or drug.

    She said once she is divorced she is a single, there is no sexual misconduct.
    Actually, there is a difference in her stand before attending the meditation course and after. She is more willing to listen.

    I am working with her on setting aside fund, but it was difficult. We have 2 houses in Singapore and 1 in Malaysia all with huge mortgage loans currently financed by our rooms rental and CPF funds withdrawal for the mortgage installment.

    Proposal A:
    Basically, 1 Singapore house will be transfer under trust to my son, I took 1 Singapore house and my wife took the rest (1 Malaysia house, all the cars, gold jewelry and all cash in joint account. All mortgage continue to be my responsibility). This proposal involve paying stamp duties and a lot of lawyer fee.

    Proposal B:
    We divorced, all assets still under joint name as per normal, I will give her S$1000 a month for her expense no question ask for the rest of her life. We both don't intend to re-married. Should any party want to re-married, than split assets in half.
    We both hope that in a few years time, we may remarried each other, but for now, she wants freedom.

    Proposal C:
    We do not divorce, I will give her S$1000 per months for her personal expense no questions ask. She can go anywhere she like. Hopefully after a few years, she played enough and return back to the family.

    She is still in Nepal, have to wait for her return.

    Offline FlyingKite

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    Wow you are back! She is willing to settle for C?

    C is 7K-resource control her output
    « Last Edit: January 15, 2020, 09:00:42 PM by FlyingKite »

    Offline lau0001

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  • Wow you are back! She is willing to settle for C?

    C is 7K-resource control her output
    @FlyingKite
    These 3 options are discussed during her meditation course and holidays, I When she returns by month end, I will know which option she chooses.  I prefer  options C as we are not divorce and hopfully her wondering mind becomes clear and we have happy family relationships ever after.

    Online Han

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  • She said once she is divorced she is a single, there is no sexual misconduct.
    Actually, there is a difference in her stand before attending the meditation course and after. She is more willing to listen.
    If she is more willing to listen, then it is opportunity to give her below perspective:

    What she is doing actually called: "Master and dog pet" play.
                                                       
    Your wife take the role as the Master. And the man take the role with perspective that he is her pet dog.
    Pet dog belong to Master. Master feeding pet dog, take good care and the pet dog sincerely love his Master.
    Master also very fond and love her pet dog deeply.

    (Just like what you see in daily life: a woman love her cute pet dog and taking good care seriously their dog wellness).

    So Master and pet dog loving each other = Unconditionally love.

    Situation:
    1.) Dog doesn't care if their Master human having sex with other human.
    Because that man already perceive himself as pet dog = Human business is not dog buisness. My Master can do whatever she want as long as my Master still love me.
    2.) For Master perspective it depends.
    a. Some Master doesn't bother if their dog fxxk other female dog. (It's dog business, not my business, why should I interfere said the Master human).
    b. While for some Master may different, some may restrict their dog to fxxk other female dog at random.

    It's in inside dark psychology knowledge. Pretty fxxk up mind, not normal and inhuman. But for 2 party that playing this role, strangely, they're most happy in their life.

    For the dog role = Their most prosper time & happiness is when they possess Master that love them deeply. And they will give their all too, return back the love to their Master, "unconditionally". Just like loving pet dog wagging tail so happily when they see their loving Master.

    Master also most happy, their face shine the most, laugh the widest smile, when they're with their loving pet dog.

    And btw, for one to can become Master = she need "power". Money is power. Divorce generate money for her. Secure her role as the Master in long run.

    That is your wife situation. Hopefully you can comprehand with what your wife mean when she ask your unconditional love that she doesn't find it inside you. It's not that she ask freedom.
    It is not in normal perspective in her demand Mr. lau0001, but she also unable to describe what she exactly want. Why bother go to Nepal for answer? The answer is in here.

    Hopefully with this you can comprehand and take good approach ahead. It's just about demand and supply. If possible can supply her happiness, divorce can still be prevented.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Your present LP reverse (反), is these reverse Mater play role = Your wife is the Master now. And you must become the pet dog if want marriage intact. She doesn't find inside you possess this pet dog role, you are 官 (Authority). This mismatch is the source of divorce. When match, it is her most happiness Mr. Mr. lau0001. Your wife is not in normal case. The cure is also not in normal way.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------


    she do not want to be involve with me in anyway even if it involve my son.
    Because when she see you and children, she will feel very quilty. She don't want that.

    She can still think, she know she is doing wrong thing, but it is her most happiness. Who can blame who? Human pursue happiness.



    I am working with her on setting aside fund, but it was difficult. We have 2 houses in Singapore and 1 in Malaysia all with huge mortgage loans currently financed by our rooms rental and CPF funds withdrawal for the mortgage installment.
    Asset that is generating good income = Should not be sold.





    Best Regards,
    Han
    « Last Edit: January 16, 2020, 06:35:21 PM by Han »
    Almost knowing something and actually knowing something are as far apart as the sky to the ground.
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    Offline lau0001

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  • She said once she is divorced she is a single, there is no sexual misconduct.
    Actually, there is a difference in her stand before attending the meditation course and after. She is more willing to listen.
    If she is more willing to listen, then it is opportunity to give her below perspective:

    What she is doing actually called: "Master and dog pet" play.
                                                       
    Your wife take the role as the Master. And the man take the role with perspective that he is her pet dog.
    Pet dog belong to Master. Master feeding pet dog, take good care and the pet dog sincerely love his Master.
    Master also very fond and love her pet dog deeply.

    (Just like what you see in daily life: a woman love her cute pet dog and taking good care seriously their dog wellness).

    So Master and pet dog loving each other = Unconditionally love.

    Situation:
    1.) Dog doesn't care if their Master human having sex with other human.
    Because that man already perceive himself as pet dog = Human business is not dog buisness. My Master can do whatever she want as long as my Master still love me.
    2.) For Master perspective it depends.
    a. Some Master doesn't bother if their dog fxxk other female dog. (It's dog business, not my business, why should I interfere said the Master human).
    b. While for some Master may different, some may restrict their dog to fxxk other female dog at random.

    It's in inside dark psychology knowledge. Pretty fxxk up mind, not normal and inhuman. But for 2 party that playing this role, strangely, they're most happy in their life.

    For the dog role = Their most prosper time & happiness is when they possess Master that love them deeply. And they will give their all too, return back the love to their Master, "unconditionally". Just like loving pet dog wagging tail so happily when they see their loving Master.

    Master also most happy, their face shine the most, laugh the widest smile, when they're with their loving pet dog.

    And btw, for one to can become Master = she need "power". Money is power. Divorce generate money for her. Secure her role as the Master in long run.

    That is your wife situation. Hopefully you can comprehand with what your wife mean when she ask your unconditional love that she doesn't find it inside you. It's not that she ask freedom.
    It is not in normal perspective in her demand Mr. lau0001, but she also unable to describe what she exactly want. Why bother go to Nepal for answer? The answer is in here.

    Hopefully with this you can comprehand and take good approach ahead. It's just about demand and supply. If possible can supply her happiness, divorce can still be prevented.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Your present LP reverse (反), is these reverse Mater play role = Your wife is the Master now. And you must become the pet dog if want marriage intact. She doesn't find inside you possess this pet dog role, you are 官 (Authority). This mismatch is the source of divorce. When match, it is her most happiness Mr. Mr. lau0001. Your wife is not in normal case. The cure is also not in normal way.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------


    she do not want to be involve with me in anyway even if it involve my son.
    Because when she see you and children, she will feel very quilty. She don't want that.

    She can still think, she know she is doing wrong thing, but it is her most happiness. Who can blame who? Human pursue happiness.



    I am working with her on setting aside fund, but it was difficult. We have 2 houses in Singapore and 1 in Malaysia all with huge mortgage loans currently financed by our rooms rental and CPF funds withdrawal for the mortgage installment.
    Asset that is generating good income = Should not be sold.


    Best Regards,
    Han
    @Han

    This is the best article you wrote that has enlightened me. I was in great depression unable to see my role in this world waiting for her wondering mind to return. Without a role to play in a divorced family bought with it the  tenancy to want to end it all.
    Yes, under current luck pillar of reversal, with only a few more years to go, I can and should play a role of a pet dog,, that will make her happy, in order to save our marriage, and protect our assets for our future. in fact, I already see I playing this role now, every night I was crying, when my wife send photos of her in Nepal, my depression suddenly disappeared, I was so happy seeing her photo and able to chat with her similar to what a dog feel when master return.

    Thank you @Han, you are not only master in Five Art, you are also master in psychology.

    Online Han

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  • she did request me to invest S$20,000 on the fish business in Indonesia to help uplift her soulmate economic status,
    My wife invested S$8000 on it last year using money from her personal account.
    she showed me a video of her soulmate small fish container made out of plank wood with plastic lining.
    I saw there are about 50 fishes inside.
    Her soulmate decided not to continue his fish business as he said the catfish price is very low and not stable, not enough to cover the fish food. 
    Facts that your wife need to know:
    - 1 cat fish in Pontianak worth = SGD 0,5,-
    - So 50 cat fish in Pontianak worth SGD 25,-
    - Small fish container made out of plank wood with plastic lining worth SGD 20,-
    - Total amount needed to set up is not more then = SGD 50,-. It's a child play.

    A.) Capital SGD 8.000 : 1 cat fish worth SGD 0,5 = Should have 13.000 cat fish (or at least have 5.000 cat fish).

    B.) He only have 50 cat fish (only 1%), close business, and capital SGD 8.000 gone dark.

    C.) Not every BaZi/person born with capability to do business. Some people just awful in doing business.

    D.) If one doesn't have prove possess business talent, it is just pouring water to dead wood, never can see it will bloom to have fruits/result.

    -----------------------------------------------------------

    All my later writing is actually addressed for your wife Mr. lau0001. You just need to read it to her.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    Remind her that "true soulmate" do not lie/fraud their spouse.

    A pet dog never bite their loving Master.
     
    If it bite Master, it is not a proper pet dog to be loved, unconditional love she has here have flaw/not real.


    Almost knowing something and actually knowing something are as far apart as the sky to the ground.
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    Online slametbing

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    Offline lau0001

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  • she did request me to invest S$20,000 on the fish business in Indonesia to help uplift her soulmate economic status,
    My wife invested S$8000 on it last year using money from her personal account.
    she showed me a video of her soulmate small fish container made out of plank wood with plastic lining.
    I saw there are about 50 fishes inside.
    Her soulmate decided not to continue his fish business as he said the catfish price is very low and not stable, not enough to cover the fish food. 
    Facts that your wife need to know:
    - 1 cat fish in Pontianak worth = SGD 0,5,-
    - So 50 cat fish in Pontianak worth SGD 25,-
    - Small fish container made out of plank wood with plastic lining worth SGD 20,-
    - Total amount needed to set up is not more then = SGD 50,-. It's a child play.

    A.) Capital SGD 8.000 : 1 cat fish worth SGD 0,5 = Should have 13.000 cat fish (or at least have 5.000 cat fish).

    B.) He only have 50 cat fish (only 1%), close business, and capital SGD 8.000 gone dark.

    C.) Not every BaZi/person born with capability to do business. Some people just awful in doing business.

    D.) If one doesn't have prove possess business talent, it is just pouring water to dead wood, never can see it will bloom to have fruits/result.

    -----------------------------------------------------------

    All my later writing is actually addressed for your wife Mr. lau0001. You just need to read it to her.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    Remind her that "true soulmate" do not lie/fraud their spouse.

    A pet dog never bite their loving Master.
     
    If it bite Master, it is not a proper pet dog to be loved, unconditional love she has here have flaw/not real.
    @Han
    My wife send me evidences remittance receipts of $7700 send to her from her soulmate returning 2 years ago $8000 she gave him after my wife informed him that she intend to divorce me. My wife said $300 different is a small amount, maybe due to exchange rate different and commissions fees charges. She said she trust him more as 有借有还, 再借不难. So she send him S$8510 last December. Is the soulmate aiming for my wife assets after the divorce?

    On Master/pet dog, she said she will be happy I give her complete freedom, and do not questions or border her at all, she will not do any household chore, and not service me as wife, but that do not mean I must be at lower rank as a dog. It will create negative karma for her.

    I am prepared to do all household chore and take care of my son for the next few years.

    Offline lau0001

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    十恶大败,格中大忌;若遇财官,反成富贵。
    ShiErDaBai, The ten evil of great defeat, is very unfavorable to the structure; however if it meets Wealth and Officer, it becomes rich and noble.

    Shi Er Da Bai are the 10 days where the 十干禄 Shi Gan Lu have fallen into 空亡 Kong Wang.

    The 10 days are:
    甲辰、乙巳、丙申、丁亥、戊戌、己丑、庚辰、辛巳、壬申、癸亥
    @slametbing
    My DM is 辛巳, current LP 丙戌 , is官印.Does that mean I becomes rich and noble during this period?  It may be true the first 2 years of this luck pillar, but I found myself in great trouble and depressed for this later portion of the luck pillar. I think this period is my worst period for my entire life.
    « Last Edit: January 19, 2020, 07:17:23 AM by lau0001 »

    Online Han

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  • @Han
    My wife send me evidences remittance receipts of $7700 send to her from her soulmate returning 2 years ago $8000 she gave him after my wife informed him that she intend to divorce me. My wife said $300 different is a small amount, maybe due to exchange rate different and commissions fees charges. She said she trust him more as 有借有还, 再借不难. So she send him S$8510 last December.

    Is the soulmate aiming for my wife assets after the divorce?
    No. Their relationship is Master and pet that happy & loving each other.
    The man is aiming her to become his Master. To taking care of him.


    On Master/pet dog, she said she will be happy I give her complete freedom, and do not questions or border her at all, she will not do any household chore, and not service me as wife, but that do not mean I must be at lower rank as a dog. It will create negative karma for her.
    It's a scheme.
    To can become Master, she need power so she can keep her pet. Without power (feeding), pet will leave Master. That is what she scared the most = when her money all gone, hopeless, no power is not Master.

    Her power come from money. And her money come from you.
    Without divorce but she don't do any household chore, and not do you service as wife = she only need your money, so she can keep do her thing. Your total loss is 100%.

    Mr. lau0001,
    My first post that located in early topic is addressed for you.
    The content is: Prepared to split/divorce in this LP, this year 2019, and will be effective in 2020. But you must initiate negotiation to secured more children fund, taking a piece from her. Because you need to avoid big possibility become swallowed every cent of children inheritance by her in future.
    Not divorce is her best way to swallowed everything, instead of only get 50% from divorce. Because when you died but she is still your wife, then she will take everything 100%. Then how your children wellness in future? So for you Mr. lau0001, my advise is = Smart divorce. And then replacing with new page.

    Because in your LP case who reverse (反) with Quan/Sha marriage disaster, to can escape is only have a very tiny hole chance. That is why my advise is not trying to save it, but make smart preparation of divorce for children future sake. Because I know what your wife is doing and it is hard to can make her can fall in love again with you while she is in Master & pet mode. It's almost impossible. Because how can you become a pet? Your level is 官 (Authority). Same with very tiny hole to pass through.

    But later you said your wife go to Nepal for enlightment. I think that is a good chance for that tiny hole.
    So I post my later topic about master & pet. It is actually intended for your wife to understand.
    I think if only your wife understand with what she is doing. And you also become understand with what is your wife doing, then perhaps, you both can still talk heart to heart. But frankly to say Mr. lau0001, it's a very slim chance. Replacing her pet with yourself is inhuman. That is the tiny hole to get through. It's impossible (for her) even if you want to.

    What I want to point out in all my writing:
    I already see many disaster broken down people.
    But know, disaster is not intended to take you down.
    But is actually intended for you can learn what traits you don't possess.
    But sadly, only few people can see it through..

    The video below is a 1,5 hour sharing. Good man that see disaster. Ex Jakarta Governor ahok. True man but put to jail + strip out from 官 high grade position + wife having affair + divorce = Complete disaster. Same with your case.
    But he is some of the few that can see it through. If anything you can learn from him, it will be very good for your road ahead Mr. lau0001.

     


    Best Regards,
    Han
    « Last Edit: January 19, 2020, 11:33:19 AM by Han »
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    Offline ZWDSlearning

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  • After 3 weeks of crying, and lost hope, I now manage to get myself up to face reality, and post to thank all concern forum contributors for your support.

    Thank @Han for your detail analysis and defense strategy to secure and protect fund for my son future.

    My wife did a complete search of all my assets and money and demands every cent to be divided equally. She do not want any child to be attached to her as she wants a carefree lifestyle after divorced.
    I did proposed to my wife to set aside 20% each of our assets to secure fund for my son education and living expenses. She said it is the father responsibilities to look after his son, she do not want to be involve with me in anyway even if it involve my son.

    My wife leave for 1 month holiday cum meditation course in Kathmandu, Nepal in Dec 31.

    My wife and I still communicate daily through WhatsApp during her holiday and mediation course in Nepal. The mediation course taught her some Buddhism practice and principle. One of them Pancha Sila:
    I observe, refraining from killing any living beings.
    I observe, refraining from taking what does the owner not give.
    I observe, refraining from committing sexual misconduct.
    I observe, refraining from telling lies.
    I observe, refraining from taking any intoxicant or drug.

    She said once she is divorced she is a single, there is no sexual misconduct.
    Actually, there is a difference in her stand before attending the meditation course and after. She is more willing to listen.

    I am working with her on setting aside fund, but it was difficult. We have 2 houses in Singapore and 1 in Malaysia all with huge mortgage loans currently financed by our rooms rental and CPF funds withdrawal for the mortgage installment.

    Proposal A:
    Basically, 1 Singapore house will be transfer under trust to my son, I took 1 Singapore house and my wife took the rest (1 Malaysia house, all the cars, gold jewelry and all cash in joint account. All mortgage continue to be my responsibility). This proposal involve paying stamp duties and a lot of lawyer fee.

    Proposal B:
    We divorced, all assets still under joint name as per normal, I will give her S$1000 a month for her expense no question ask for the rest of her life. We both don't intend to re-married. Should any party want to re-married, than split assets in half.
    We both hope that in a few years time, we may remarried each other, but for now, she wants freedom.

    Proposal C:
    We do not divorce, I will give her S$1000 per months for her personal expense no questions ask. She can go anywhere she like. Hopefully after a few years, she played enough and return back to the family.

    She is still in Nepal, have to wait for her return.

    This kind of women very hard to settle down. Got Taohua at Hour. I would think twice or thrice about marrying this kind of women. Want freedom too much as there is too many outputs

    Offline lau0001

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  • This kind of women very hard to settle down. Got Taohua at Hour. I would think twice or thrice about marrying this kind of women. Want freedom too much as there is too many outputs
    @ZWDSlearning
    @Han

    The problem is when I married my wife some 34 years ago, I didn't learn any Bazi or Zi Wei Dou Shu. She is my first love and only love, 一见中情Love at first sight. Until now, I still love her dearly even though she committed serious mistakes. In my heart, I cannot create any space for any other lady, all these years my heart only allow my wife one person inside, and I tried many times to forget her especially during this period when she left for Nepal for 1 month, my emotion was worse than even seeing my parents die, I cried every day and night. My heart and mind just cannot let go of her.

    If God allow replay, where I can decide if I want to marry my wife  knowing  these problems will occur. I may still choose to marry my wife, because I enjoyed living with her for the past 30+ years, the unforgettable 34 years, and there is still a tiny hole chances that our marriage can work out fine.

    I am going to take the tiny hole chance to rescue my marriage by suffering for the next few years be and act as my wife's dog, so there will not be any divorce and I only hope for her unconditional love.

    I don't know can I endure pass 2023, when my wife Bazi luck pillar change from 己酉,官印 to 戊申,杀枭. If I can, it will be worth all my effort, and my wife will not have these 杀官混杂problems, marriage saved, assets save, life resume normal.

    If I am unfortunate, unable to endure the pain, contracted dread illnesses or committed suicide and die, that is fate. I will not be there to see what goes on from then on. I am sure my wife (she fundamentally has a good heart, she arranged to go Nepal temple to seek answers to her problems) will allocate sufficient for my son future education. Whatever she wants to do, it is her Choice.

    Online slametbing

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    « Last Edit: January 20, 2020, 09:48:05 AM by slametbing »

    Offline tureno

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  • Dear @lau0001

    Its ironic that the first thing you wrote on the subject in this topic is "Life changed completely..."

    But have you accepted this phrase that you wrote "Life changed completely..."?

    I think we all understand your predicament at current but still do you understand that circumstances has changed?

    You are running in circles about your emotions & judgement while you tortured yourself by allowing her to do whatever she wanted and makes decision based on her & hope things will be the same again for you....

    Hope is not the solution...
    Unconditional love is one a way ticket...
    Can you withstand the amount of emotional pain...
    What if after you endure the result is still the same?
    We are talking about "years" lau
    Ending your life prematurely?
    I honestly hate people who gives up on themselves when the creator of the universe granted you one in this life.
    Do you understand how many people in this world would trade you life with them?

    Please think realistically on this.


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